How I Stopped Binge Eating

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but for nearly 10 years, I struggled with binge eating. When others were around me, I would eat healthy, normal-looking meals.

But when I was by myself, I would gorge on junk food until I felt sick.

It might not sound like a big deal if you haven’t struggled with this yourself, but it was a heavy secret to keep, affecting not only my weight and overall health but also my social life and relationships. (There were many nights that I would rather stay home and secretly eat than hang out with my family or friends.)

Today, I want to share some of the steps I took to finally stop binge eating, in the hopes that it might help someone else who’s struggling, too.

Disclaimer: If you are feeling suicidal, severely depressed, or in need of medical attention, please see a licensed healthcare provider. This website is not intended to be a substitute for medical advice.

What Causes Binge Eating?

I don’t believe there is just one answer as to what causes people to start binge eating. It seems that one common cause is having a restricted diet at some point in your life.

This could have happened when you were a child, if well-meaning parents attempted to limit your food intake to help prevent childhood obesity, or it might have happened later in life when you attempted to diet to lose weight.

(In my case, it was the latter.)

Not surprisingly, depression can also play a role in binge eating. My suffering hit its peak when I was working from home in Los Angeles, as I felt very isolated and didn’t have a lot of human interaction each day.

I also had a nutritionally poor diet, which probably contributed to those feelings of depression, and that left me feeling malnourished. This combination led to more serious bouts of binge eating, as you’ll see below.

What is Considered Binge Eating?

Binge eating is defined as the consumption of a large quantity of food in a short period of time.

In many cases, a person who binge eats feels out of control and eats WAY past their comfort level. For a person suffering from Binge Eating Disorder, there is no purging after the binge (which is what makes it different from Bulimia).

I would imagine that almost everyone has experienced some level of emotional eating, or comfort eating, at some point in his or her life, but it’s the eating far past your comfort level or feeling out of control that sets binge eating apart from simply “splurging.”

An Example of Binge Eating

A binge can vary from person to person, as it’s kind of up to self-interpretation. For some, they may tend to binge eat at night, after a stressful day at work, or after a day of low-calorie dieting.

For others, it may be a full day of binge eating, particularly on days leading up to starting a strict diet. One thing that most binges have in common is that the eating is done in secret, as the person is ashamed of his or her actions. (Again, this is what makes it different from simply splurging or indulging after a long day.)

Here’s an example of what a full day of secret binge eating looked like for me:

• Morning: I’d go to McDonald’s and order an Extra Value Meal (which included a breakfast biscuit and hash browns), then realize I could be even more indulgent and order a second meal. I’d order two cinnamon rolls, as well, because why not? I took my massive amount of food home and devoured it all in about 15-20 minutes. After that, I would feel slightly guilty but still excited to eat more.
• Afternoon: I’d order a large, deep-dish pizza. While I was waiting for it to be delivered, I’d eat cookies and potato chips, and anything else that might be off-limits to me in the near future.
• Early Evening: This was often my last chance to eat something before someone else could get home and interrupt my secret eating, so I’d walk to the convenience store across the street and buy a pint of ice cream, or a king-size candy bar, or both. I’d eat as much as I could, then get rid of ALL the evidence, taking out the trash so no one would see my empty food wrappers.
• Evening: I’d make myself a light salad or healthy dinner to eat in front of my family, and act as if my stomach wasn’t killing me, even though I felt miserable. I’d go to bed feeling guilty, depressed, and ashamed, with a resolution to eat “perfectly” the next day.

A binge day like this would usually happen whenever I was planning to try a super-strict diet soon, like a juice fast, an all-raw diet, a Whole30, a candida cleanse, or a low-carb protocol (I tried them all!).

The stricter my diet, the more drastic the binge would be.

Also, my binges were rarely contained to just one day.

Usually, I would binge-eat like that up to 3 times a week. If I slipped up during a dieting day, the rest of that day would instantly turn into a binge because the way I saw it, I had already “blown it” for the day, and I might as well start fresh tomorrow.

Mentally, I remember reasoning with myself that I would have a better “before” picture to compare to later (when I lost weight after my upcoming diet) since I’d be so bloated from binge-eating. What a great excuse to eat with reckless abandon!

The only problem was… it was really hard to stop binge eating, and it was even harder to stick to a strict diet for very long.

On a side note, days like this one would also wreak havoc on my budget. I was too ashamed to keep these “bad” foods in my fridge, so I would buy them and discard the evidence, which is a huge waste across the board. You would think that being on a tight budget would have stopped me at the time, but it didn’t.

Binge eating, in general, doesn’t make logical sense, which is why it’s so hard to explain to others who haven’t experienced it.

Stuck In A Cycle of Yo-Yo Dieting

I suffered through this cycle for years because I was always convinced that if I could just find the perfect diet, or reach a certain goal weight or clothing size, that my issues would go away.

I wouldn’t stop dieting, and therefore I couldn’t stop binge eating, either.

I also felt like I was “getting away with it” because I never gained THAT much weight, despite my crazy eating habits. I definitely did gain weight, and my clothing size did fluctuate often, but I would always follow a super-strict diet for 2 to 4 weeks and lose the weight again. (Though this did get harder to maintain over time. Your body won’t always respond as well to the same diet over and over again.)

Then the cycle would start all over again. I was stuck in a cycle of yo-yo dieting.

How I Finally Stopped Binge Eating

I’d love to say there was a “magic cure” that made things click, but it didn’t happen overnight.

For me, the change was more gradual.

By taking the steps below, my binge eating sessions became shorter, less severe, and happened far less frequently. Eventually, they started to simply resemble the dietary “splurges” that normal people have. (Like having a couple of cookies after family dinner, or going out for ice cream with friends.) Now, I eat like a healthy, normal person with a few splurges here and there.

The following things helped me get there:

• I stopped dieting. This was a non-negotiable step for me. I had to stop restricting my food choices because restriction led me to binge eating. Every. Single. Time. I couldn’t be strictly Paleo, or vegan, or cut out sugar, or do anything with a dietary label that might bring me guilt or shame later if I “messed up.” In fact, I needed to make sure I was eating plenty of nourishing food so my body wouldn’t feel restricted. When you eat enough, your cravings will naturally diminish. (This is also why I eat plenty of protein and fiber, because it really does help, without cutting out any food groups.)
• I stopped labeling foods as “good” or “bad.” This one is tricky because I truly do believe that some foods are better and more nutritious than others. I think we should primarily focus on eating real, whole foods as much as possible, and I do think that processed foods should be minimized. However, for the sake of my mental health, I don’t feel guilty about moments when I want to eat French fries, pizza, or a real donut. It really is okay to eat these things. When I don’t feel guilty about it, I go right back to eating salads, smoothies, and healthy dinners– usually appreciating how good they make me feel even more. I try to practice this mentality with my kids, too, so they hopefully won’t grow up with food issues.
• I started practicing daily self-care. Have you heard the phrase, “Fake it until you make it?” Even if you’re not totally happy with how your body looks or feels, you have to start acting as if you LOVE it. With enough practice, you will! To get started, I made a list of things that make me feel good —like taking a bath, sitting in a sauna, going for a walk outdoors, or even taking a nap —and then I tried to practice one or more of them daily. I’ve found that the more I take care of myself, the more I want to keep it up. It’s momentum-building! (As a bonus, taking a walk outside makes me feel better than eating a whole sleeve of cookies.)
• I only eat food that I truly love. I think it’s really important to start noticing how foods make you feel and what you love the taste of. When I stopped dieting, I let myself eat anything and everything– including fast food and junk food. And you know what I realized? Most of that junk food appealed to me because I had made it “forbidden.” When you tell yourself you can’t have something, you make that very thing SO MUCH MORE tempting. When I stopped making certain foods off-limits, I was able to judge them based on their actual taste and texture.

Can you stop binge eating AND lose weight?

I think the scariest part of this whole process was the fact that I had to stop dieting in order to stop binge eating. It’s scary to stop dieting because I think everyone assumes that they might gain weight when they let themselves eat whatever they want. (And often the desire to lose weight is what starts this cycle in the first place.)

The truth is, you might gain a couple of pounds when you first let yourself eat whatever you want… though that wasn’t the case for me.

Because I truly let myself eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, I was also able to stop eating those foods when I no longer enjoyed them. Forbidden foods lose their appeal when you truly allow yourself to have them anytime.

For example, when I was dieting and binge eating, I could have eaten a whole sleeve or two of cookies in one day because I knew I wouldn’t be “allowed” to eat them the next day. I ate more than I needed or even wanted, simply because they would soon be forbidden to me.

When I gave myself permission to eat those cookies whenever I wanted, I would only eat 2 or 3 at a time, then save the rest for the next time I wanted them. Eventually, the box could sit in my pantry for a whole month or more.

I became one of those people who “forgot” that the cookies were even there. (Which certainly never happened to me before!)

Get Rid of the “All or Nothing” Mentality

Something I preach here on the blog and in my cookbooks is that you have to get rid of the “all or nothing” mentality if you want to have a healthy relationship with food.

At the peak of my binge eating, I was either on a diet or I wasn’t– so when I wasn’t dieting, I was binge eating. There was no middle ground.

Now, I really do eat whatever I want, but I’ve noticed that I like feeling good, and certain foods leave me feeling tired or sluggish. I probably make healthy choices 90% of the time. And 10% of the time, I’ll have a cookie from a bakery, a few greasy slices of pizza, or share chips and salsa with margaritas on a sunny porch with friends, with no guilt whatsoever. (And when we’re traveling, it’s probably more like 60/40 because I love trying new restaurants!)

Despite my lack of dieting, my body naturally lost the excess weight I was carrying —simply because I wasn’t binge-eating anymore! I had to trust the process and trust that my body would naturally start craving what it needed when I simply followed my hunger signals. I eat when I’m hungry, and when I start to feel full, I stop. I can always go back for more food if I need it, so there’s no urge to stuff my face all at once.

While it’s super-embarrassing to share my struggles here in such a public space (Hi, Mom! Hello, coworkers!), I hope that my experience will help at least one other person who is out there struggling, too.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them in the comments below, and I’ll do my best to answer them.

SaveSave

SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave

SaveSave